Google Finally Proves It’s A Life Draining Vampire with Bloodsucking Watch

Something I’ve been saying for a while now on my science and tech podcast–Sovryn Tech–has finally been proven true: Alphabet/Google is only concerned with draining the very life out of you for its own financial and everlasting-gobbstopping data collection purposes.

Alright, fine, I’m only half-kidding.

But Alphabet/Google has filed a patent in the US for a “needle-less blood test” that is attached to–of all things–a smartwatch (most likely a la Android Wear only). There isn’t much in the way of specifics (a problem with the patent system–beyond the stupidity of intellectual property–is that you can be incredibly broad and get a patent, thwarting other unique attempts), but what information is known is that it uses an “abrupt surge” of gas into a barrel containing a microparticle, which then does puncture the skin and gets a small drop of blood.Watch_web_1024Why don’t I start with the positives on this. Diabetics are continually having to carry around little kits to manage their blood glucose levels, and no doubt this is annoying. If it could be put into a watch form and could be done with no one really noticing (as well as not having to wear a tissue on your finger for a few minutes) would be a huge advantage no doubt. Also, if this could lead to the development of one of Star Trek’s greatest and most used technologies, the needle-less medical hypospray used for injecting all manor of things into people, I’m game for that.

But that’s the end of the positives, in my opinion. Let’s break into the negatives. And, of course, we’re going to be talking about privacy here, which is the problem with 90% of everything that Google does, because they don’t care about your fundamental liberty of privacy.

Let’s say that this is for diabetics (which wouldn’t be surprising on Alphabet/Google’s part since they’ve also patented eye contacts for blood glucose monitoring). I know of people–diabetics–that do very clever dieting and insulin-taking tricks that allow them to get away with not informing their employer that they are diabetic. If the employer did know that they were diabetic, the simple fact is they just wouldn’t get hired. These people have been at their jobs for years, even decades, with no problem with job performance of any kind, but because of dumbass corporate policy (which is a response to even more ridiculous government legislation), these phenomenal workers wouldn’t be able to do/get their jobs. Now, if these same diabetics wore an Android Wear watch that would upload their blood glucose data (or whatever else) to some medical database (because Android devices are “all connected, man!”), and the corporation found out about the fact that said persons are diabetic, these people who have done their jobs without a hitch would be instantly fired, and may even be facing a lawsuit.

But no one is forced to wear a smartwatch, you say? That’s true. For now. In the United States of America–since Obamacare–medical insurance is essentially a requirement now. Companies have to offer it to employees. And if companies (and even individuals in different cases) get a substantial discount from insurance providers on premiums if they make their employees wear smartwatches, do you think they’re not going to make it a policy that, “Hey, buddy, if you work for us, you need to wear this watch”? Of course they will. That’s just business sense (unless the business is willing to pay the ultimate premium for the sake of its employees privacy).

Ah, your next question: “How do these diabetics get past the medical exams that are required in the first place, with or without a smartwatch”? Right. Like I said, these diabetics know a trick or two on how to diet before an exam that will get them to pass the test, much like people know tricks for getting around (ridiculous) drug tests (and oh, I didn’t even mention how this could potentially effect those people). It’s the same deal, but it’s not something that can be kept up forever, so they wouldn’t be able to fool a near 24-7 wearable, and it’s a good bet that regular blood tests could become a thing with these new insurance plans that I’m (admittedly) theorizing.

Insurance companies in-and-of themselves are rampant scams that, among other things, charge preposterous prices for what you usually get out of them, too, so I can understand why people would take any deal that makes it more cost effective for them. But this is where Alphabet/Google could get a little more evil with what I’ve described above. In the past couple of years, Google has started to make moves in the insurance business (not just medical), and if they came out and offered a shiny new, and very inexpensive (they make money through other projects, so this wouldn’t have to be profitable for them, thus allowing for very low premium pricing), medical insurance plan that came with a free Android Wear bloodsucking device…well, who wouldn’t jump on that? And with Alphabet/Google collecting all of that data in one spot (blood glucose, GPS saying where you are every second, “Google Now” always-listening microphone, and quick texting and calling data…all in their smartwatch), that company has a eerily complete Orwellian picture of who you are, and it’s all in one place (Google’s servers) for some malicious actor (like every government on the planet is) to access and use against you for whatever reason.

No more “gaming the system”. No more keeping your ailments private (which used to be part of a “gentleman’s” code not long ago). And really, no more keeping your activities private. At all. And if I didn’t make it clear already, this Alphabet/Google implementation of this technology has the potential to be detrimental to everyone, not just diabetics.

And please, I don’t mean to scare with this. I’m not interested in fear mongering. I just want to share with you my thoughts and keep you informed. This is actually an exciting technology if it were being used in different ways…and it could be. In the case of diabetics (though all of this could be applied more broadly, otherwise I don’t think Alphabet/Google would invest in it), they’ve carried around blood monitoring devices for decades that never connected to the internet. And there’s no reason (other than Google’s own foolish purposes) to not put this needle-less technology on those devices, no internet connection required, and privacy largely intact. But the patent system may not allow for that, unfortunately. Hooray for government! Yay!

Perhaps the best things you can do to avoid this are:

  1. Stay as ridiculously healthy as you can. Eat right, exercise, etc. All the good stuff.
  2. Become an entrepreneur, a private contractor, or work for a noted pro-privacy company, that way you can avoid the potential insurance plans that could require the use of this.
  3. Try to get your life “location independent” so that you can avoid any potential future laws that could require this nonsense. This is a good thing to do no matter what’s going on.
  4. Don’t buy into these new “tech markets” like wearables that are a little “too smart”, perhaps. Send the market signals that these kind of devices are not desired by not buying these bullshit products.

Maybe you’re already perfectly healthy and wearing this thing wouldn’t affect you in the slightest, so why should you care? Well, as Edward Snowden said, “Arguing that you don’t care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don’t care about free speech because you have nothing to say”.

Enough said.

Carpe lucem!